“How are you doing”

So I overheard a colleague the other day on the phone with a client and commonly hear and use myself “How are you doing” – A common filler right after you get someone on the phone. A phrase meant to lighten the conversation and build rapport. On the contrary what is not thought about when presenting this to someone is how terribly wrong it can go. Most of the time people tend to keep their personal matters to themselves but on the off chance you actually get someone to speak up it can really throw you off your game. Some responses I have actually heard include: “Well let me tell you, actually things are terrible” or “My dog just died and my kids won’t stop crying so I’m not really good”. I would love to see people’s faces in business conversations that actually get this type of response as I think it happens more often than not. So the point of this ramble is to provide caution and insight next time you decide to ask someone how they are doing. Do you actually want to know how they are doing or just move the conversation along to your end goal. I know I will probably still use the phrase but am always hesitate to really want to know how someone is actually doing.